I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize