Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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