she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize