I've blown a few things in my day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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