You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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