For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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