he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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