there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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