Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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