i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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