yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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