I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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