I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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