Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize