dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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