I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Shame - the story of my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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