I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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