Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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