i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize