You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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