and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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