Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize