Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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