Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The Olympian is in my bed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize