i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize