you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize