Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
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It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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