drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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