Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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