Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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