Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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