She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize