I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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