Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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