i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
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That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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