It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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