butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In the future we'll all be gay
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize