He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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