just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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