Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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