As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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