Can i not drive my cunt home
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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