dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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