This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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