Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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