Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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