I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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