Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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