Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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