My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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